30 August 1996

(Brown Journal Excerpt 1 - "I'm Way Too High")

Let’s think of a word, or maybe concentrate on a thought in order to begin. There is no ignition to turn, we [or me] are not an engine like the one found in the sky blue jeep, an engine that helped us to get to the houses of the ones we love. Back home. What a foreign place- so beautiful and distant from the present white flannel blanket underneath as I scribble my brain’s explosions of thought onto a peach-lined page of empty space. Where am I going? An important question…

The minute I set foot on this campus I knew it was right. In fact, I remember making the sunshine with my mother when we visited this school. My intuition is paying off. My third eye is wide open, and I trust it’s visual messages to me. Beyond visual: the third eye is actually a window to visceral imagery that aids us in truly feeling the right things at the right moments. It’s nothing like an orgasm. I’m talking about feeling waves of reason which ultimately guide you to your goal.

Jesus Christ- this is spooky! I am afraid to expound on the thoughts in my head because I am using an abstract vocabulary of nonsensical metaphors and words of odd shape and size. All the letters form such a skeletal structure of potentially constructive ideas, it’s just that its (or rather, their) reader adds layers of skin, skin of their own biased soul.

I thought I wouldn’t try this at this particular point in time- a funny one (I can hear even the crickets laughing in a chorus composed of the night, the sky, the wet grass, and even the animals in my room)- but I will. Let me try and give a few ideas to you, and I hope you’lll (whoops, one “L” too many) soak them up.

I love it here. How else could that be described? I don’t believe that phrase could be clarified any more eloquently and precisely. And I just spelled “precisely” wrong on top of it. Maybe there are two “L”s or something. Anyway, this vibe I am experiencing, it’s all positive energy. So much intelli-
gence (and even people who can’t fit a simple word on a line) abound. Its abundancy leads to higher levels of experience- more beneficial for our journey.

Okay, let me describe it. Is it worth it? No, not really. I am too high right now to go into detail; however, I find it hilarious that my hand is still squeezing out random words like ink from a fruit of communication: the juice of blood running through my brain, and beginning these illogical thoughts. Man, I’ll tell you. I gotta stop this. I’m wasting paper, and my experiment is over, kid. Will I read this ever? Yeah. As humiliating as it will make me feel, I must remember this entry and the way I feel (I closed my eyes for that last word when I wrote it, sorry!).

I love it here! Fuck, (sorry for the Swahili), but it’s time to stop. Sorry to be redundant.

Goodnight you crazy motherfucker with cranberry eyes.